So it begins...

A journey never begins at the first step into the wild, an unknown road under your feet. Its all the steps before on familiar ground, pacing your room and planning.

When I began writing as a kid, I had a million dreams. Then reality said, "Those dreams would be better served here." And I worked toward journalism, a new dream. Stories were about reality. Not the magical happy endings in my head. I wrote about murders, and court cases and taxes. And I had a damned good time in a short period of time. But that industry is brutal and life turned me away.

So I abandoned words for technical work. My ADHD need for new always in the background, undetected until I read the pattern later. But the stories remained in my head, running thoughts of creative energy that would be released one day.

Unashamed I say it was fanfiction that called me back. At a convention in a panel for a ship I love, someone said, "I'd love to see this kind of fic." Perhaps it was the journalist in me seeing a need and the desire to answer the call came through.

So I wrote it. It was terrible. But I wrote more. And more. New prompts, new ideas. I learned what got me the most comments and praise and being yelled at (it was all the angst so if you love that you'll love my books). I became part of the community.

When an author mutual on twitter proposed two characters would be good together(thank you Gigi!) I jumped on it. But something magic happened. I changed so much of their lives that it was work to make them fit their original world except in broad scopes. And with some work, they became my first book which is back its sixth re-write.

But also in that story I met Mae. I say I met her, she appeared at the beginning, fully formed as a 22-year-old can be. Her voice so clear, I knew she needed her own story. So for NaNoWriMo a couple years ago, she got her story.

First time fully original characters and first time in first person POV. She and I liked doing first together. I queried both books, but no interest beyond one full request for my first showed up. I knew these stories being queer was hard enough. Add in realistic magic. It's a genre blend all the way. But some of my favorite romances were genre blends, like One Last Stop or The Dead Romantics. Flip the formula just a bit I always say.

I left it all alone until I saw a list for small publishers. I sent it out again with little to no hope. In the back of my mind I said I'll be published by 45, and 43 is breathing down my neck. I made a secret plan for self-publish, and enjoyed life. I had enough of that going on.

Then a lot happened at once. Some I can say, like my 13-year old Chow-German Shepherd dog got sick and died of cancer. Some I can't, but in the middle of it all, an email from Kelly at Rowan Prose Publishing. "It's genre blending but I like it... we'd love to publish..."

I couldn't believe it as my mind reeled, stomach trying to decide if i was upset again or excited(it can't tell the difference). My partner cheered, he'd always believed in me and purchased my website domain right away. In some of my deepest pain, my dream emerged. Unexpected, welcome and real. So here I'm now, all cylinders firing. So many things have fallen apart before. Only to rebuild again. Sometimes in the still warm ashes. A new story always is there.